how to be in a relationship with yourself

Before you love someone else, you must learn to love yourself. WHAAAA?

How do you love yourself? It’s hard. It’s difficult. I’m not saying that it’s hard to look at yourself in the mirror and start saying all the good attributes about your body, I mean that you must look deep within your soul, find the demons that are torturing your every breath and drag them out. Those demons are the ones holding you back — they constantly push you and tell you not to try new things like buying that new yellow polka dot bikini or post that untouched picture on Instagram. Before you can fully love someone else in a meaningful, romantic relationship, you must learn to be in a relationship with yourself.

The day I become a mother will be the day all hell breaks loose. HA! JK. God, that day is so far out (I hope). But the day I become a mother I will start instilling in my child’s head that they are precious, beautiful, and wise. Precious because their youth is breathtaking. They have so many years ahead of them to figure out their purpose on earth is, that they need to take their childhood years for what it is: precious. So many children and young adults in this world are in a rush to grow up so fast, jump into meaningless relationships and flings, and jumpstart their careers and lives. Then, they start a family of their own and the cycle starts all over again. They don’t take life for what it is. Life is precious and you need to live every day like it’s your last.

I will call my child beautiful because of course, anything that God creates from scratch is beautiful. When children grow into teens and young adults, their thoughts about themselves turn materialistic and dark.

They seek out the negative flaws and “unattractive” attributes about themselves when really, the negative flaws are what makes them beautiful. They have a gap between their teeth? Too many freckles? A little extra body fat? All of those qualities are what sets them apart from the world and what makes each person an individual. I will call my child beautiful every day to teach them that if anyone calls them ugly, they’ll know in their hearts that there are people out there that think they’re beautiful.

I will call my child wise because there is nothing more important in this world than wisdom. I don’t mean smart, intelligent, or they have a high IQ. I mean wise.

Being wise sometimes means admitting defeat. Being wise sometimes means admitting that you don’t know the answer and accepting help. Even the strongest leaders need a good push and a little help to get by.

I’m 21 years old and I have never been in a relationship. Most people look at me and ask, “why? Just get it over with.” But that’s not what a relationship should be. Sure, it’s “sowing your wild oats” or “going through a phase.” But it’s not like that. When I have my first relationship, I want it to be filled with love, honor, passion, friendship, romance (yes, love & romance are two different things), and most importantly, God. My boyfriend and I both should be able to put God before either of us in the relationship. If you are reading this and you’re in a relationship now without God in the picture, then start a conversation with your partner. Talk about God. Talk about His Word. You’ll find your true love and self-worth by including God in your relationship. I know it’s hard for me to give advice on this sort of thing, but I have that image of the perfect guy in my head and I can’t wait to see what God has in store for the both of us. I’m waiting for that perfect moment, that moment that my BF/future husband and I will share forever.

But that moment hasn’t come yet. And that’s okay. Because right now, I need to focus on loving myself. I need to be confident with my body, my faith, my soul in order to be in a loving, faithful relationship.


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