I am a sucka for rom-coms. [Romantic comedies, if you don’t already know what that means.] I can devote an entire weekend to only watching rom-coms. I love the oldies. “Sweet Home Alabama”, “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days”, and “13 Going on 30” are just some of my favorites. However, I like the new rom-coms too. I went to the theater and watched “Isn’t it Romantic” starring Rebel Wilson (aka Fat Amy). It was cute, it was cheesy, and it was like most romantic comedies in that it had a happy ending.
let’s be real: EVERY girl is beautiful no matter what size they are.
When I watch romantic comedies, I can’t help but notice they all have a few features in common (at least the old ones do): the main chick is awkward, clumsy, unique, spunky, and my personal favorite to point out: a size 2. As a little girl, I watched those movies and thought to myself, wouldn’t it be so freaking cool if I could find love on top of a Ferris wheel and my soulmate build a house for me? [The Notebook] Wouldn’t it be so freaking cool if the man of my dreams raced to the airport through security at the last minute right before I was about to get on the plane and confessed his love for me? (That probably wouldn’t happen to me, since I get to the airport at least three hours early.)
I watched those movies, hoping that that sort of romance would happen to me. And then it dawned on me right about the time I was in high school. Something inside of me just snapped.
All those main women in those beautiful romantic comedies…they were all size twos. I thought to myself, those men — those handsome, Prince Charming men probably liked those girls not only because they were the main characters, but because they were size twos. That’s what I had thought! As a young girl, I developed that mindset. And that mindset led me to think that because I wasn’t a size 2, 4, or even 6…I couldn’t get a boyfriend.
And that really shattered my confidence. I remember looking into the mirror and thinking, what am I doing wrong ? Am I not eating enough salads? Should I work out more? Should I curl my hair every single day?
I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know what to do. Here I was, a size whatever and thought I was worthy of love, but I saw women and girls getting boyfriends. The difference I saw? They were size twos, fours, and sixes. I thought I wasn’t getting any attention because I was fat.
Ladies. Take it from me. Learn from my mistake. Attention from guys is not worth the attention. *Correction: attention from guys focused on outward beauty is not worth the attention. If you’re searching for attention from high school or even college guys who are only judging a girl based on what she’s wearing, then that’s not the right attention. Those guys will only use you for your physical appearance [read: their Instagram profiles]. They see you and shower you with compliments like “you’re pretty, babe” or “you’re beautiful” or “damn, you look hot tonight.” And those comments make you feel good! For about a second.
That’s not the attention we should be craving. We can’t put our identities or our self-worth in the attention guys give us. We can’t let guys rule our self-esteem. We can’t allow guys to control how we think about ourselves. Even the women in those romantic comedies will tell you that before you let a guy love you, you must first love yourself. We need to stop putting our identities in things like romantic comedies and fantasies of our “perfect guy” and instead put our identities in our Creator.
Lemme back it up and say that again: in order for a guy to love you, you must first love yourself. That’s the advice my BEAUTIFUL and AMAZING friends gave me (s/o to you guys, you know who you are).
LOVING YOURSELF (+ other things)
Yeah, loving yourself. That’s easier said than done. But the more I think and reflect on this concept of “loving yourself,” I can’t help but wonder of all the things I do to love and appreciate the body God gave me:
- I shop for clothes that make ME feel comfortable.
- Halo Top and Talentia are my go-to dessert, which I treat myself at least once a month.
- I know when I need to stay in and I know when I need time with my peeps.
- I show up for God and leave everything to Him.
There are probably countless little things that I do to love and appreciate the body God gave me, but those are things I can think off the top of my head! See, you don’t need to be a size two to be beautiful. You are already beautiful because you are created in His image. God doesn’t create ugly things. There is NO SUCH THING as ugly in God’s eyes. God is perfect; His beautiful creations are made in His image. You are His creation. You are beautiful.
“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.”Romans 8:5
Don’t look to romantic comedies (or any movie for that matter) for your self-worth. Don’t look to guys for a self-esteem fix. Look to Jesus. Let Jesus take your heart and everything will just…fall into place. You won’t be looking in the mirror and hating every flaw on your body; instead, you’ll have a newfound appreciation of God’s creation.
And hey, when you start loving yourself and appreciate what YOU have to offer the world, the right guy will come along. But for now, enjoy YOU and your relationship with Christ.